LOIS LESSONS

Introduction

After Mama died, I wanted anyone and everyone who knew her to share how she changed their lives. I wanted to do a "book", but after many months of trying to figure out how to do another book, I "ran out of creative steam" and decided to put "Lois Lessons" here as a blog. It will work better for me and it certainly is a "cost-saver". And, it will make it easier for me to "add-on" as her spirit "Angel Lois" moves me. ONWARD!

“Lois Lessons” is a tribute to Lois Brown Dale, my mother and mentor. Mama referred to herself as “LBD” which were the initials for Lois Brown Dale. Her given name was Helen Lois Karch, but Lois was the name from her family and Daddy, James Lebert Brown, added his last name to hers. Then eventually she married Gilbert Dale, hence her name "Lois Brown Dale".
Mama and I have written the family history for the Karch’s (Mama‘s family) and for the Brown's, too which was (Daddy’s family).

Mama was the Matriarch of her family. She was the oldest daughter for a family of seven children. She served in that capacity to her dying day. Her own mother had died at age 40, followed by the death of her father shortly thereafter. How she and her sisters and brothers survived the loss of both parents is a miracle of courage and caring for one another throughout their lifetimes. She led by example and kept her sense of humor, her understanding of human nature and strength of character in tact. She was steadfast, generous and reliable. Her faith was strong. She “cut through the crap” and “zeroed in” on any problem that needed to be solved. She was a visionary and a woman of compassion and caring.

Let these “Lois Lessons” be an inspiration to you and to generations that follow.

Memories of Mama

At Mama’s 92nd Memorial Birthday Celebration at the Lois Brown Dale Friendship Center, our family asked for all who felt inspired “to do so” to share their special memories of Mama. Mama touched each person with her generous, caring spirit. Read on, dear reader, read on.

Joyce Hutchinson's Tribute

My lucky day was when Lois came into our salon. She wanted a hairdresser closer to home. I really loved an looked forward to her appointments with me. The last time I did her hair at her home, I was still learning from her wisdom. She refused to go to a nursing facility and to take medications that were pushed her way back when Viox was OK, she was smart enough to refuse it.

Two funny comments I remember, were, “Old men were just looking for a nurse an a purse. And, she was kind of disgusted because she had to buy a new water heater. She said she thought sure she would leave her home before it did.

Also at her lovely memorial I was able to make friends with her wonderful granddaughter, Sherry.

Esther Klotter's Tribute

We did so enjoy the gathering on Lois’ Birthday and found it to be a lovely tribute to a lovely lady. During the trip home Melanie and I talked about our 4-H years and the fun we had. Melanie said she and her friends were anxious to get through the first years and move to serious sewing.

The requirements she remembered well. Making a bean bag taught machine sewing, the needle book taught blanket stitch and hemming a tea towel was last. She has found her ability to hem neatly very valuable. Her reward has been that her son stops buy with trousers to finish.
I am grateful for the encouragement Lois gave to me to open the first Nutrition Site in Clermont County. It was July 1976 at Mt. Moriah U. M. Church and was well received. I already had a group of Seniors meeting at my church and those involved gave me a real education as well as a lot of love.

My experience with all of them has caused me to age more gracefully. I will be 89 on Oct. 21st, 2009. I am so happy that you had years filled with riches. Your care of your mother was outstanding.

Angie Arnold's Tribute

I didn’t meet Lois until January of 2007. Karen had found a box of tapes, that Lois had dictated after her retirement from Clermont Senior Services. According to the tapes, Lois’ health was causing her problems and she had trouble sleeping. It is hard to find something constructive to do in the middle of the night when you are alone not feeling well, and can’t sleep night after night.

But, guess what? Lois thought up something. Lois had an interesting life and she knew it. So she used her night time to record parts of her life. There seemed to be no plan, she just talked about her life as various subjects came to her mind.

This was not an easy task, to revise, revise, change and mold her book called “Sleepless Nights-Ramblings”, but she did it! Her mind was SHARP, her editing skills were superior. At the age of 91, she worked hard on her project. She worked hard, just as she had done all her life.

To think that I learned was that there is something constructive we can all do even if we are bed fast, but attitude must come from somewhere deep within.

I guess the thing that I take away from my time with Lois is the attitude, “When Life gives you lemons - make lemonade. Be content with what you have to work with, don’t complain, keep working.

Lois was a work horse, with a good attitude and a good sharp brain.

Roger Landock's Tribute

Lois had been retired maybe 7 or 8 years when I was scheduled to pick her up at the doctor’s office to take her home. I hadn’t seen her for a long while. I went into get her and she was checking out with her back to me. I said that I was there to take her home and she smiled and said, “Okay”. I said to Lois, “Do you remember me?”

Lois replied, “I should, I hired you, Roger!”

That made me feel so good, and we talked all the way home. She asked what was going on in my life and I told her about my grandson. Every time after that, when I was lucky enough to been able to pick her up, she would always ask about him and even remembered his name! I know I only told her his name one time and she always remembered!

She was an amazing lady and will always hold a special place in my heart, even though I am no longer with Clermont Seniors Services. I am deeply honored to have known her.
Back in February, 1987, I was laid off from U.S. Playing Cards after 18 years. The unemployment agency sent me to Clermont Senior Services for an interview. I sat down with Lois and I liked her "right off the bat". We talked about 10 minutes and when I told her I had no experience driving, she just sad, “Roger, I like you and I’m willing to give you a chance”. That was 22 years ago and I have had great respect and love for her since.

One day we had a birthday carry-in for one of our drivers. I offered to get the cake since the other driver was a good friend. Well, the cake was a little “naughty” and we tried to hide it from Lois, not knowing how she would react. Lois came in and asked what was going on (there was some whooping and laughing over the cake) so she wanted to see the cake. She took a long look at the cake and burst out laughing and said, “I’ll take a piece!” and we all had a good laugh! The birthday boy and I still talk about it today.

Remembering Lois by Wilma Kurz

She could have been a storyteller writer -
The likes of Garrison Keilor.
Drawn in by her words and
Introduced to people you had never met
But wished you had.

She could have been a poet,
On a level with one she loved so much,
James Whitcomb Riley.
If in doubt just read -
Nobody remembers the “Potashes” farm but me.

She could have been a professional designer/seamstress
With a love of find fabric and a wonderful eye for color.
It’s evident that daughter, Karen inherited her
Incredible artistic ability from her.

She could have been an executive
Of a large company-
Growing and making it a success
With an uncanny ability
Of seeing “down the road” and
Knowing what needed to be done.

She could have been a teacher
Because of her lifelong love of
Learning an wanting to share
That love with others.

She could have been any one of these
But she “bloomed where she was planted”
As the poem says and Clermont County
Benefited from it.

One woman with a desire to help and make life better for others.
One woman who dreamed it - started it and made it work.
One woman who wouldn’t be denied.
One woman - Whose family must have been so proud.
One woman - We were all blessed to have known.
One woman
One woman

The Gift
By Wilma Kurz

Words are the gift I chose for you
Always appropriate, never outdated
Words of kindness remain in the mind and heart
Long after the beauty of the flowers has faded

I shall always remember your words
Of Wisdom, humor and cheer
Your words of encouragement, that gave me
Confidence, I’ll forever hold dear

Words can express my love and gratitude
For all you freely shared
For time given to teach, advise and console
You always showed you cared.

With love to Lois
Wilma - August 17th, 1991

Linda Lang's tribute to LBD - Lois Brown Dale . . . A unique, caring lady with foresight.

The lessons learned from Lois were many and varied. Here are a few that have special meaning:

* Never mind meddling. This ‘meddling’ was done out of caring and compassion, and for the benefit of another.

*Stories teach many lessons from experience. Lois was a great story-teller always with humor and flair.

* We are here to help others. This showed through on the many programs at Clermont Senior Services; i.e. transportation, senior centers, nutrition, health care, hearing testing/health screening, protective services, adult day care, support groups.

* The importance of each and every person’s contribution to the agency (encouragement). Lois had the ability to bring out the best in everyone using those qualities to benefit the agency programs.

* Co-ordinate with and assist other groups to answer peoples’ needs, I.e. hospitals, businesses, human services, YMCA, veterans, libraries, etc.

* How to plan, organize, wrier and budget programs. Meet with the County or State officials to make requests when necessary. When Lois did not sleep; I always had lots of work to do!

* Volunteers are the backbone of the communities. Without them we could not accomplish nearly as much.

* Enjoy all avenues of life: family, friends, work, crafts, sewing, art, culture, reading, writing, religion, music, poetry and on-and on.

Lois contributed to so many lives. She knew what was needed, could see future needs and worked tirelessly to achieve success. Lois is remembered as a marvelous, wonderful person, who provides unique memories for so many. Lois will always hold a special place in my heart.

I’ll end with a poem from Riley’s “Songs of Home”, a book given to me by Lois.

The Old Days

The old days - the far days -
The overdear and fair!
The old days - the lost days -
How lovely they were!
The old days of Morning,
With the dew-drench on the flowers
And apple-buds and blossoms
Of those old days of ours.

Then was the real gold
Spendthrift Summer flung;
Then was the real song
Bird or Poet sung!
There was never censure then -
Only honest praise -
And all things were worthy of it
In the old days.

The bide the true friends -
The first and the best;
There clings the green grass
Close where they rest:
Would they were here? No; -
Would we were there!
The old days - the lost days -
How lovely they were.

Contributed by Linda L. Lang
Friend and Employee of
Clermont Senior Services for 31 years

Karen Chandler's Tribute

Lois hired me almost 29 years ago. She inspired me from the day I started working with her way of dealing with every aspect of the agency. She was kind, loving, caring, exceptional with words, a friend, and always striving to make you feel good about yourself.

The agency continues to be the greatest organization because of the leadership, inspiration and compassion of its founder, Lois Brown Dale.

Lois always treated her employees with respect and love and guided them sheen she could. My heart fills with pride when I think how fortunate I’ve been to have been a part of her life and the agency’s. when she retied 18 years ago she continued to be a part of our lives. During the 18 years she never forgot my birthday or holidays, or just notes to tell me she was thinking f me - I even received my birthday card on the Monday after she passed away. I will miss her always, and she will forever be in my heart.

George Brown's Tribute to Lois Brown Dale

There’s a page on the Ohio Department of Aging website titled, “Lois Brown Dale - Lady of the Levies”. The narrative describes Lois’ role as a self described meddler in getting state legislation in place permitting senior service levies to be placed on the ballot, and then getting the first countywide senior service levy passed in November 1982.

In the course of becoming the “Lady of the Levies” Lois displayed at least three of life’s most important lessons.

First, don’t hesitate to “use people” to get something done that is important to you. Lois knew how to win friends and influence people to make good things happen, and she did so with both determination and sincerity.

The second lesson is, if you believe something needs to be done, step forward and take the lead to make it happen. Others may agree with you about what needs to be done, but usually they don’t know where or how to begin; they need someone – you – to stand up and lead, even if you aren’t real sure about where or how to begin – sometimes you just have to start and figure it out as you go. People will follow your lead and help.

The third lesson is to persevere - don’t give up. I took Lois (and those she influenced and led) three tries before the first countywide senior services levy past. Today (November 2009) 70 of Ohio’s 88 counties have a senior services levy, providing over $130 million annually to support services for seniors.

George Brown, Executive Director,
Clermont Senior Services

Cindy Gramke's Tribute

On May 1, 1987, the Lois Brown Dale Friendship Center opened its doors. It is right and appropriate that guests honoring Lois and celebrating her life cross the threshold of Lois’ dream – and a small piece of her greater vision for services for older adults in our community – to celebrate her life and the profound impact she had in Clermont County and in the State of Ohio.

For me and the impact that she had upon me personally, I always share that my parents raised me personally, but Lois raised me professionally. Her hand has guided me for many years. More often, it is just in being faced with a situation and asking myself, “W.W.L.D.?” What would Lois do? She was the matriarch of this agency and ruled with a strong and definitive hand, but always with a soft touch and gentle heart.

Just week before last, shortly before she left us, I received a letter from Lois. The envelope was sealed with fun kitten stickers. At this point, I knew that she had suffered a stroke only days before receiving this letter. Upon opening, the date reflected that it was written on July 30th. As I wondered what words of wisdom might lie within, I began reading. The letter was Lois instructing me on changing something that she had seen in the local publicity. The instructions were absolute and pure Lois – words underscored reflecting her emphatic command. It really doesn’t matter exactly what she wanted changed, but what matters is that she was right. She was so right. I immediately had it changed. By this time, the stroke had left Lois unable to communicate further, but I asked Karen to whisper in her ear that I got the letter, and I took care of it immediately. And, she was absolutely right.

Lois left me with more of a message than that last and final communication that she made with me. She left me with remembering that I must be always mindful of what is right. It isn’t always about doing the “right thing,” but we must always do What Is Right. I am so blessed that Lois reminded me of this before she left. She was a fierce advocate for those persons she believed were forgotten or in need of assistance. That spirit and intensity would dare anyone to question the integrity of her motivation to serve those for whom she fought.

She shaped my life. I am honored to have worked for her, to have had the opportunity to learn from her – to grow as a person because of her – and that she was happy that I came “home” to do the job I needed to do. With all my heart, I love you, Lois.

Cindy Gramke

Do It Now! Lois Lessons written by her daughter, Karen

Mama wasn’t one to procrastinate. When I brought her mail, I would help by opening up letters with a letter opener that had been gift given to her by the League of Women Voters. She would toss or give me the junk mail. Magazines and catalogs would be set in a stack to go through and then passed along to me and to others. Cards and letters from family and friends were special presents for Mama.

When her bank statement arrived, Mama immediately balanced her check book. When bills arrived she opened her check book and wrote a check right then! She opened her wallet and paid immediately whenever a service person completed their work for her. She often gave a generous tip to those who were “just doing their job”. She was generous and never wanted to owe anyone any money.

Mama was disciplined about keeping appointments. She kept her appointments and expected those who said they would “be there” and to BE THERE ON TIME! When the housekeeping crew became lax about coming on the specified day and changed the time again and again, I finally stepped in and started doing the cleaning and it was on schedule - every other week. Doing the cleaning “took me back” to childhood cleaning days at Potter Farm Lane. Mama divided up the jobs between my sister, brother and myself.

I was in charge of cleaning the kitchen, my own bedroom area and the living room. This meant cleaning out the refrigerator every week (top to bottom), wiping woodwork, surfaces and scrubbing, rinsing and waxing the kitchen linoleum floor. The living room cleaning included dusting all the woodwork, all surfaces, vacuuming the couches and chairs, and wiping all glass surfaces. (Windows were done as a family job). I rewarded myself with a floral arrangement for the living room after the job was done. Even when we moved to another home on Rt. 125 in Withamsville, Ohio I continued to help with cleaning and the “mantra” continued to be “Do It Now!”

To this day, I’m well-aware of the importance of a clean home. Mama kept her home clean for years with the help of Louella Battig and Melissa and others who were life-long friends. Mama knew how to keep a clean home and I imagine she learned a lot of her skills from her own mother.

If there were cards and letters to be sent, Mama “did it right then”. I enjoyed buying greeting cards from Trader Joe’s and other places. She loved putting on fun stickers on the outside. And, later when I subscribed to Stamps.com I designed my own stamps to share with her and others. I took a picture of one or her favorite painting’s of mine which she named “Too Much Toulouse” and made it into a stamp. Now I have stamps of Knee-Hi (our dog). She wrote notes and letters to many people.

If she disagreed with someone or something political she wrote opinion letters to the paper and those letters were published! Oh my! She didn’t “flinch” in her stance on something she felt was important to share with others. She would RESPOND, absolutely and with conviction!
When there was a package that arrived, Mama would want it opened and whatever was inside put to use immediately. Sometimes the item required assembly or reading the directions thoroughly. She and I often worked through these challenges together. There were items that were “not right” and needed to be returned “right now”.

Things Worth Keeping and Sharing

Mama kept many interesting “lessons” in her personal files which she would copy to share with others and vice versa. Mama and my late husband Bill were so good about “clipping” articles, comics and notices from newspapers. They were both avid “readers”. I counted on them to keep me informed! When Mama and I were putting “Hoot ‘n Holler” together, we needed a lot of material to share. She did her part in finding wonderful “tid bits” and she also wrote her own page called “Observations”.

“Another Perspective”
Children of God

Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree,
Discussing things as they’re said to be,
Said one to the others, “now listen you two,
There’s a certain rumor that can’t be true,
That man descended from our noble race
The very idea is a disgrace.”

“No monkey has ever deserted his wife,
Starved her babies and ruined her life,
And have you ever known another monk,
To leave her babies with another to bunk?
Or pass them on from one to another,
Till they hardly know, which one is their Mother?

And another thing you will never see,
A monk build a fence around a coconut tree,
And let the coconut go to waste,
Forbidding all other monks to taste,
Why, if I put a fence around this tree,
Starvation would force you to steal from me.”

And here’s something a monk won’t do,
Go out at night and get in a stew,
Or use a gun or a club or a knife,
To take some other poor monkey’s life.
Yes, man descended, the ornery cuss,
But brother, he didn’t descend from us.”

Ahou Ben Adhem
By Leigh Hunt

Ahou Ben Adhem (may his tribe increase!)
Awoke one night from a deep dream of peace,
And saw, within the moonlight in his room,
Making it rich, and like a lily in bloom,
An angel writing in a book of gold:
Exceeding peace had made Ben Adhem bold,
And to the presence in the room he said,
“What writest though?” - The vision raised it’s head,
And with a look made all of sweet accord,
Answer’s, “The names of those that love the Lord.”
And mine is one?” said Abou. “Nay, not so,”
Replied the angel. Abou spoke once more low,
But cheerily still; and said, “I pray the, then
Write me as one that loves his fellow men.”
The angel wrote and vanished. The next night,
It came again with a great awakening light,
And show’s the names whom love of God had blest,
And lo! Ben Adhem’s name led all the rest.

* Note: This faded poem was carefully hand printed by someone and placed in a red velveteen frame . It had set on a shelf in Mama’s middle room (as I recall). I knew Mama had told me about the poem and I thought to myself, “Alas! Mama’s gone and I don’t know the story.”

I pulled the poem from the frame and there on the back was the answer - written by Mama!

Presented to Lois Brown Dale
by:Wayne Oney & Glenn.
Glenn hand printed the script.
March 1976
A favorite story
Of Wayne Oney’s

Mama was a poet, too.

What's a day? by Lois Brown Dale

Grapefruit and alligator, pumps
Tea and taupe hose
Chevrolet and curves
Cigarettes, stale and smoky (somebody else's)
Paper – cussing and
paper and boredom

Mounds of notes
Phone like mad
Figures and accounts
Faces and voices
Bus and fun and games
Sickness of soul
What's it all about
What’s a day?

*Note: I would believe that this is a poem referring to the time Mama worked at the IRS in a “cage” only to be “let out” for lunch or restroom breaks.

*Note: I will share more of Mama's poetry as I add to LOIS LESSONS.

Food

Mama came from the a heritage of home-cooked meals and family gatherings. Helen Montrose Reidy, Mama’s mother, spent many hours of her life in the kitchen baking and cooking for this Karch family of nine - 7 children, 2 parents and others who found their way to the Karch home. During the Depression Helen baked pies to help with the family income. Some recipes are family favorites.

From what I understand from Mama, that her father, Ernest Karch, was very strict about what he felt should be the family "diet". He expected his family to eat well. Mama carried on the family tradition of good, healthy meals. Our Dad brought his family favorites into “the mix”. Mama was from Indianapolis and Daddy from the country town of Salem – both were “Hoosiers”. Daddy loved Hominy, cornbread and butter. Mama loved tea, sweets and special home-made soups.

Mama knew how to “stretch” the budget and save money on food, too. She and Daddy were offspring of the Depression and World War II. When we lived on Potter Farm Lane, off Tobasco Road, there were plenty of apple orchards surrounding our home and berry branches filled with Blackberries and Dewberries. We tried to raise some potatoes but the “bugs” got them and that was the end of our “farming”. Mama spoke of times when Daddy tried to put her into the “egg business” and “also raising sheep”. Neither worked – Mama and the chickens didn’t get along and the sheep were killed by a predator.

Mama kept some recipes in an expandable file. Other recipes were in favorite cookbooks. We’ve passed some of these recipes along to family and friends. And, we put a lot our recipes into our “Hoot ‘n Holler” publication that we wrote together for at least eight years!

RECIPES
FAMILY RECIPE EXCHANGE

PORKY CORN BREAD

There’s a hidden layer of pork sausage under this tender, light corn bread. Serve it with a gravy made from sausage drippings.

Bake at 425 degrees for 20 to 25 minutes. Serves 6 to 9.

Cook................1 pound bulk pork sausage in skillet until lightly browned, do not overcook. Drain sausage, reserving 1/4 cup drippings for Gravy, of desired. Place sausage in bottom of greased 8x8x2-inch pan.

Sift together. 3/4 cup sifted flour
1 tablespoon sugar
3 teaspoons double-acting baking powder
½ teaspoon into mixing bowl.
Stir in...............3/4 cup yellow corn meal
Add..................3/4 cup milk
1 slightly beaten egg
3 tablespoons shortening, melted.
Stir until smooth. Spread over sausage in pan.
serve with or without gravy.

Gravy for Porky Cornbread

Blend 1/4 cup flour into the reserved drippings in a skillet. Add gradually 1& 1/4 cups water and 1 & 1/4 cups milk. Cook, stirring constantly, until thick. Add 1 & 1/2 teaspoons salt.

* Editor’s note: This is our family recipe that was chosen by Pillsbury’s Bake-Off. I was a Junior Winner in 1955. Mama and I went to New York (all expenses paid) and stayed at the Waldorf Astoria. The stove I won was sold and paid my way through my the first year of college. Daddy gained at least 10 pounds sampling this recipe before we left for the Bake-Off. - Karen Kelly

CHERRY PUFF

To honor George Washington, you might enjoy trying this recipe.

Bake at 325 degrees for 40 minutes. Serves 6 to 8.

Ingredients:

1 No.#2 can (2 ½ cups) tart cherries, drained
½ cup liquid from cherries
½ cup sugar
2 tablespoons quick-cooking tapioca

* * *

2 egg whites
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
2 egg yolks
1/3 cup sugar
6 tablespoons sifted cake flour

Crush cherries with potato masher; add cherry liquid, sugar, and tapioca. Simmer 5 minutes, stirring constantly. Beat egg whites until foamy; add salt and cream of tartar; beat stiff. Beat egg yolks until thick and lemon-colored; add sugar; beat thoroughly. Fold egg yolks into egg whites, then fold in flour. Pour cherry mixture into 1 ½ quart casserole. Pour batter on top. Bake in moderate oven (325 degrees) 40 minutes. Serve warm.

* Editor’s note: This recipe came from a collection of recipes I put together when I was in high school. It is taken f rom the February issue of Better Homes & Gardens, 1952. The cook’s name is Elizabeth Howser, Colorado Springs, Colorado.

LOIS LESSONS

Lois Brown Dale

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Lemon Cake

Karen's Poem for Mama Lois

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Salad Nicoise

Sunday, April 4, 2010

LOIS LESSONS - A Tribute to Lois Brown Dale

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